


Its So Hard

by Queen (ramble)



Category: Glee
Genre: Episode: s02e06 Never Been Kissed, Episode: s02e09 Special Education, Episode: s03e05 The First Time, Klaine, M/M, Season 2, Season 3, Sexual Tension, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:10:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2313965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramble/pseuds/Queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt and Blaine find each other to be very, very attractive. Always have. This is a short fic documenting a few times when they didn't let all that sexual tension out, and the time when they almost couldn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Its So Hard

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously this is pure almost-sexual fluff in which I somewhat bastardize some of our favorite scenes (like when Blaine was singing Teenage Dream). This is just for funsies and it was honestly just me trying to get more comfortable with writing more sexual-like content. For anyone who read Blood Makes Noise, I'm pretty skimpy on the sex scenes because I'm just not very comfortable with it. I don't want to write smut but I also know that sex happens. Especially when Kurt and Blaine are alone together. So this is me doing some exercises to work through that. And posting it on the web for everyone to giggle like a twelve year old with me.

 

 

1\. The first time Kurt saw Blaine

There were several things that stood out about Dalton beyond the beautiful castle-like facade and the rather stylish if not boring after a while uniforms. One, there was no girls. Which was a given because it was an all-boy’s private school but it was still very striking to see a lack of females wandering around. Kurt hadn’t even spied a girl’s bathroom even though he knew they had to have at least one for mothers and other visitors. Two, the boy’s bathroom didn’t smell like every rancid thing in the world. It was actually clean.

Three, he’d seen several of these boys hugging, patting each other on the back, and generally otherwise being kind of physical and there hadn’t been a single call of ‘no homo’ the entire time.

Four, there were a lot of very attractive males here. Five, that was probably because of the uniforms.

Six. That boy that had just brushed past him. “Excuse me, uhm.” Seven - That boy that had just turned around. Eight, the way his eyes lifted up so slowly. Nine, they seemed to go on for miles. “Can I ask you a question, I-I’m new here.”

“My name’s Blaine.” Ten, his hand. The way he shook hands. It was a normal handshake but it felt like so much more. This boy went beyond mere hot. 

“Kurt.” Kurt didn’t even trying to hide his voice or his admiration even though he knew that everyone in a fifty mile radius had to have already pegged him as gay-flaming-flamboyant-can’t-hide-it-gay and this boy. This silk-voiced boy (eleven). Didn’t shy away or make any comments or even look uncomfortable (twelve). Even though Kurt couldn’t stop staring. Thirteen.

Then he took Kurt’s hand.

Kurt could feel it, stirring in his stomach. This attraction. It was nothing like anything he’d felt before. Yes, Finn was hot. Yes, Finn would have made a very nice boyfriend. But this was different. The way Blaine’s hand fit in his as they ran down his short-cut. Even if he’d grabbed the wrong hand, even if it was awkward, Kurt didn’t care. It felt perfect.  ’He’s probably straight,’ Kurt yelled at himself inside his head.  ’He’s definitely straight.’  Kurt had to tell himself this. Over and over and over.

Even as Blaine sang. He was a singer. Of course he was a singer. The universe just had to conspire against Kurt in every way possible today. Then there were those eyes. Those eyes that kept looking deep into his own. Like he was singing this song just for Kurt. When he pointed right at Kurt. No, he had to be straight. Kurt could not let his body react. Not in the middle of a crowd of quite lovely prep school boys in their always-hot uniforms who, for all he knew, had never met a gay guy in their lives. No matter how relaxed they all seemed as he just stood there.

But it was so. Very. Hard. 

Kurt found himself staring a little too long at Blaine’s eyes. Those beautiful eyes. That wonderful smile. How confident Blaine was. This was definitely not a Finn-level attraction. Or a Sam-level one. This was something that he had never, ever thought he would be able to feel in his whole life. 

He managed to find the very much unused girl’s bathroom after that. Not for certain purposes, of course. That just felt wrong. If on the off chance Blaine was gay and not just a very rich and perfect specimen of straight prep school boy-ness and they did become boyfriends he didn’t think it’d be very romantic to say ‘oh yeah the day I first met you I had to go jerk off, in Dalton, before I could function as a human being again.’ 

No, he just let himself sit there on the floor as he sung Teenage Dream very, very quietly and tried to calm himself down.

“My heart stops

When you look at me.

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real,

So take a chance and

Don’t ever look back -

Don’t ever look back.”

Kurt lost count of the things that stood out about Dalton around number 78. Most of them were about Blaine anyway.

2\. Blaine, after tracking Kurt down before Sectionals 

Kurt had been missing for a while. Blaine (and the rest of the Warblers) knew he was friends with one of the rival glee clubs but Wes was trying to gather everyone up for some sort of pep talk. So Blaine went off to find him. They couldn’t go out there and perform without their very wonderful countertenor on that stage after all. The layer he added to their music was going to rocket them right to first place at Nationals. First Blaine checked the bathrooms. He’d texted but Kurt hadn’t responded yet. 

That actually worried him a little. Most people at this event seemed preoccupied with themselves but what if one or two of them weren’t? His own history had him starting to panic. 

He checked their changing room last. It turned out he should have gone there first. Maybe it was better he hadn’t though. Kurt was standing there, fiddling with his pants, with his shirt and vest and blazer and tie discarded across a chair. He hadn’t noticed Blaine. Or if he had he hadn’t said anything. Kurt was entirely fixated on something to do with his zipper.

Blaine opened his mouth to speak but he found himself unable to come up with words. His eyes traced over the line of Kurt’s back. The way his spine curved gently, how his arms looked under the golden light. A mirror allowed for a glimpse of the front. Of the smooth, silken white skin. No wonder that creepy cheerleading coach called him Porcelain. Blaine felt himself leaning against the doorframe.

What he was doing was crazy. Kurt was his best friend. Sure, Kurt also happened to be ridiculously attractive and very, very gay, but they were friends. He didn’t want to mess that up. Kurt was too important to just oggle him like this, like he’d come right out of a porn magazine. Even though he did look like it.

Kurt caught a glimpse of him in the mirror and turned just slightly away from the mirror. It didn’t hide anything, of course, but Kurt seemed to feel a bit better for the action. “What’s up?”

“Wes is getting the Warbler’s together, you’re the last one.”

“Oh, sorry, I just, my uniform. The zipper’s broken. I know I got these pants second hand but I’d hoped they’d hold up for a while longer.”

“Oh.” That didn’t explain why he was so very shirtless though.

“Thankfully I have extra safety pins. Hopefully no one will notice.” Kurt straightened himself up, his work complete. He’d more or less replaced his zipper with pins. The thin silver lines glittered as he turned. Blaine tried his hardest not to stare. But Kurt had brought attention to it.

Blaine shifted himself slightly and smoothed his jacket down so it hung a bit lower. He had never been more grateful for his uniform. “We need to get going.” It was amazing how quick all that skin was covered up. 

“How do I look?” Blaine took a very deep breath.

“Perfect. Shall we?” He stepped out of the way and let Kurt head out in front of him. That was a bad idea. Now he had a lovely view of the backside. Why did his best friend have to be so hot? He turned his eyes to the various parents they had to pass to get to their places. That helped. He got permission from the leaders to go off by himself to cool down and go through a new ‘meditation routine’ he was hoping would help. Since they all knew that the New Directions were going to be very stiff competition.

3\. Blaine watching Kurt practice for Nationals 

When Blaine was planning this mid-April picnic he’d been worried that this might be a bit too over-romantic or super cheesy. Just because Kurt loved it when he serenaded him didn’t mean he was interested all those other really cute romantic things. 

His worries had been ridiculous. All of them. 

They had spent extra minutes in the car just so they could keep their fingers intertwined for a few more moments. Just for the feeling of it. They hadn’t dared kiss. Not here in such a public place. But there was a promise for later when they were alone. Some people had started staring at them through the windshield so they’d had to get out. Since it was Saturday, Blaine was quite without his Dalton uniform. Since Kurt had transferred back to McKinley he, too, was quite without a uniform. Blaine preferred it that way. 

Despite how striking the uniform always looked on his boyfriend, Kurt was much better at dressing himself. Even better was when Blaine got a preview for what he was wearing. Apparently Kurt also didn’t find it too cheesy when he made sure his bowtie matched.

“I could do this every weekend,” Kurt announced as he stretched out on the blanket Blaine had brought. 

“We could you know.” Kurt pushed his sunglasses down to peer at Blaine. “If you wanted.”

“That might be a bit difficult. Quinn is having a pool party next weekend. I suppose we could have a picnic beside her pool though.”

“I can go?”

“Of course. Now that you aren’t competition they don’t mind you hanging around all you want.” 

“Speaking of competition. How’re things coming for your Nationals set list?”

“Honestly? We’ve been working on some things but odds are really good that everything will be scrapped at the last minute and replaced anyway. The New Directions are nothing like the Warblers.”

“I’ve gathered that.” Blaine pulled out their lunches. “They suit you better. The Warblers are hurting without you but they’ll get by. They’ll find someone else who will never be able to sing as well as you but will at least be able to fill in the missing notes and they’ll teach them how to dance in unison. You can really shine at McKinley.”

“In theory. Mr. Shue is just as obsessed with Finchel as ever.” Kurt sat up and caught his sunglasses as they tumbled off his cheeks. “Do you want to see the latest dance Mike came up with?”

“Absolutely. I would never pass up the opportunity to watch you.” He watched very carefully as Kurt hopped up and took his starting position out underneath the sun.

Blaine tried not to dwell too much on his stupidity of the last few months. He’d been so scared of doing something stupid and turning Kurt off from him so hard that they never spoke again that he had almost missed out on the most amazing thing that could have ever happened to him. Becoming boyfriends hadn’t messed up anything in their friendship. It had quite the opposite effect. Their bond had become deeper than ever. Kurt had known that all along. He was so confident about everything. At least, he looked confident. Blaine had learned this past year - both from himself and from his new friends - that confidence was often only skin deep. There was something stronger about Kurt though. He didn’t question things the way Blaine did. 

The Dalton boy propped himself up on his elbows as he watched. Kurt wasn’t the best dancer but clearly he’d been working hard on this. 

He’d heard somewhere that confidence was sexy. He also knew from experience that Kurt Hummel was sexy. Further causing problems were two pairs of pants, each one tighter than the last. Blaine felt very constricted within his. Clearly Kurt wasn’t having the same problems. That’s how Blaine knew his own were tighter. 

He was pretty sure there was a point where Kurt started freestyling because there was no way any teacher would let their flamboyantly gay student swivel his hips like that. God Kurt was good with his hips. Blaine had never seen a man so good at that. Sure there were trained professionals in the various music videos he watched to get ideas for moves for the Warblers but they just didn’t compare. They weren’t Kurt. 

Blaine shifted one leg over the other very carefully. The constriction of his pants, while painful, was a blessing in disguise. Everything was held in place. No one else had to know about how much he was enjoying himself right now.

4\. Over the summer.

Burt had put a limitation on Kurt’s bank account. He hadn’t wanted to but with gas prices rising he’d had no choice. They couldn’t afford Kurt’s wardrobe and him driving back and forth to Blaine’s house every single day. So something had to give.

Apparently that something was Blaine’s parents. Since their son was going to be a junior and was debating transferring to a public school they’d gotten  him a car. Which meant Kurt was free to continue expanding his wardrobe whenever he caught sight of something he desired. Not that he was doing that. He had also decided to cut into his own budget so he could have money on the side to get Blaine things. Buy dinner, buy some new bowties, make some material to make new bowties, and of course they had started getting complimentary outfits that they wore out on the town all summer long. 

It was their little way of showing the world how close they were without actually causing a scene and getting kicked out or having people follow them around taunting them in the mall. 

It also built up tension until they were back safe and sound inside the Hummel-Hudson house with their fingers locked together snuggled up on a bed or a couch depending on if there were people around or not. Today the answer was couch. Because it was downstairs and much quicker to fall onto and Burt was still at the shop and Carole was out with her friends and Finn was doing who knew what with Puck or Rachel. It didn’t matter. Blaine had wasted no time. As soon as they’d called out and heard the empty house return their words with silence he had taken hold of Kurt’s hand and pulled him to the couch. 

Every time they kissed felt like he was coming back to something beautiful. Something he had always wanted and needed in his life. Blaine sunk to the cushions. Kurt placed one hand on each shoulder and pushed him down. Who would have thought that the more camp of the two was so willing to be so dominant? Blaine didn’t mind. Kurt was always so hot when he was like this. When he needed to make out as much as Blaine did to the point where he wasn’t going to waste time with figuring out how they should snuggle up on the couch. Side by side, Blaine on top, Kurt on top, half hanging off onto the floor, upside down, whatever. There was no room for any of that. Kurt wanted to kiss Blaine and he wanted to kiss him now.

Kurt settled himself easily on the edge of the couch as he stretched his chest out against Blaine’s. Their mouths were used to these motions by now. Yet every time they met there was a renewed passion. Without any enticing Blaine grabbed Kurt’s arm and wrapped his other arm around Kurt’s waist. Kurt always put his hip right there on the edge, only allowing his body to drape over half of Blaine. He hadn’t yet worked up the courage to pull himself all the way on top.

There was, of course, always a first time for everything. Blaine shifted very slightly to try to press their bodies more closely together. Kurt felt his hip slipping from the edge. He draped his leg over Blaine and hoisted himself up to prevent that. Once the threat had passed the elder teen found himself in new territory. Blaine barely missed a beat. He hooked both of his arms around Kurt and tilted his head to kiss his boyfriend’s neck. Blaine thought Kurt had done that on purpose and he loved every single second of it.

Tongues explored familiar spaces, made new once again by the never before felt proximity of their bodies. Kurt could feel Blaine’s breathing getting heavier, falling into rhythm with his hands as they rubbed over his back. Kurt wasn’t able to contain the moan that slipped out of his chest. 

Kurt became acutely aware of what was happening to their bodies before Blaine did. Blaine’s hips curled up, Kurt started to curl his down. A shudder jerked through his spine as he pushed himself away. Blaine propped himself up on his elbows as Kurt slipped down to the floor. “I’m sorry,” he offered.

“Me too,” Kurt replied. He was torn between hiding himself or just waiting. It wasn’t like this was the first time anyway. He and Blaine had both dealt with moments like these a few times over the summer, helping each other hide it when they were in public while they giggled quiet jokes to each other about what a big turn on the other was. They’d never been in a position to touch like that though. 

Kurt pressed his forehead to his knee for a moment to take a deep breath. That had been so very hot.  

“Are you ok?” Blaine whispered, worried. He was pretty sure Kurt wasn’t upset or angry about it but his own insecurities were telling him it was very possible that Kurt was at least deeply embarrassed by the occurrence. His boyfriend wasn’t the most comfortable in his own skin after all.

“Oh yeah, just trying to calm down. No big deal.” Blaine shifted to sit beside Kurt as Finn suddenly appeared, breezing through the living room to the kitchen to grab some food then out again. “Glad we stopped.” He definitely wouldn’t have been ok if Finn had waltzed himself in while their hands were down each other’s pants.

“Maybe we should try to make more of an effort to make it to your room from now on.”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Blaine took Kurt’s hand within his own and left a kiss on the knuckles. “Can we talk about this?”

“Yeah, of course.” Kurt glanced over to him. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, I know we haven’t even been dating six months yet but it feels kind of like we’ve been dating forever.”

“We did kind of act like a couple from the moment we met.”

“So this is just natural progression.”

“...Are you talking about sex?”

“No! ...Unless you want to.” The silence hung over them for a few moments.

“It might be a good idea to talk about it. You know, since we’re both guys it’s kind of hard to hide it when we’re turned on.” Kurt let his head drop over onto Blaine’s shoulder. 

“But that doesn’t mean we have to act on it.” He felt Blaine tense up next to him. “Did you want to? Have. I mean…”

“I was kind of hoping there’d just be a day when the time was right and it would just...happen. Naturally.” Kurt took in a very deep breath before speaking. He wanted Blaine, he did. Eventually.

“Blaine, I’m not...ready for that yet. Honestly every time I think about sex I start thinking about...last year at McKinley. You know.” Blaine kissed the top of Kurt’s head.

“I know.” He didn’t have to say the name for it to be understood. “I’m not ready either.” 

“But you just said-”

“I want it to happen naturally. But you’re right. The time isn’t right yet. I love you but that’s a really big step. I want to just enjoy us like this for a while more.”

“That’s what I was thinking. So we should probably make some...some...Rules sounds too stiff.”

“Guidelines?”

“Guidelines.” 

“How about.” Blaine held his hands up to his waist. “Hands say above here.”

“Ok. I can live with that. As long you don’t make a no back massage rule.”

“Guideline. And I would never do that. We’d both lose out from that one.” Kurt tilted his head up to kiss Blaine. 

“And what about if this happens again?”

“Hmm.” Blaine tried not to let his mind wander down the ‘we watch each other masturbate’ road. That seemed unfair and quite torturous. To see it all but not touch any of it. Not to mention it sort of defeated the ‘above the waist’ rule. He wanted to save nakedness for when they did have sex. It was all part of the sex being special thing. Everything was special with Kurt. He just wanted to make sure when they were ready it was perfect.

“We can’t just ignore it. It’s going to happen.” Especially because Kurt had really liked the feeling of being stretched out on top of Blaine and he didn’t mind the thought of pulling Blaine on top of himself sometime. The pamphlets had been all about the act of sex - oral and backdoor - and making sure to lubricate well and use condoms. That didn’t help them with what to do now. He tried to think back to eigth grade health class, but it had been so heterosexual-normative that he really had no idea what applied to him and what didn’t. There was one thing he remembered the old lady talking about as an alternative to sex though. For straight couples.  “...Is grinding sex for us?” Kurt wasn’t sure if he would count it or not. Clearly the friction could cause a lovely reaction, but that reaction was typically considered sex. Unless the person was alone. Because ‘I had sex with myself’ sounded pathetic. 

Blaine glanced Kurt over. He really wanted to say no just so he could feel Kurt’s hips curling down against his own because that had very clearly almost happened just now but deep inside he felt like he should say yes. But Kurt had offered. But if he said no when he felt like he should say yes he would feel like he was using his boyfriend and that wasn’t right. 

“I don’t suppose we could ask some of the guys for advice.”

“That would be so weird.”

“For them or for us?”

“Both. Maybe we could ask their girlfriends.”

“Their girlfriends wouldn’t know how to deal with it.”

“Last year the boys at McKinley thought about Coach Beiste in sexy clothes as their answer to ‘how am I supposed to cool off but not let my girlfriend down?’ The girls would be a lot more helpful than that...Though I guess Quinn did kind of start it. And Tina kind of joined the crazy train...”

“That’s. No.” Blaine was only passingly familiar with the female football coach and while, yes, thinking about her would be a turn off it was also very inappropriate. Not to mention disrespectful and the nastiest possible thing he could think of. “You know the guys at Dalton are smarter than that.”

“And I won’t have to face them in school next year if we talk to them.”

“I might not either.” 

“Have you decided yet?”

“Not really. There’s so many reasons to stay at Dalton.” Kurt glanced down. Blaine’s home was pretty far anyway. He kept trying not to get his hopes up too high. “But more isn’t always better. The quality of the reasons to be at McKinley are greater, I think.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhm. I mean, the New Directions would give me a chance to show my individuality.” Kurt lifted his head again. “There’s girls. I really could stand to learn how to interact with girls on a normal level. Since about fifty percent of the population is female that’s kind of important. And I’m definitely not going to get that experience through Warbler parties where everyone is off making out with their girlfriends. Let’s see what else is at McKinley…” 

“Blaine!” Kurt shoved him a little. Blaine leaned in for a kiss. Even if it was just a joke, Kurt wasn’t having it. “No!”

“I was saving the best for last you know.”

“I bet you were.” Kurt granted him that kiss. It quickly developed into more. “Woah, woah, do we want to do this again before we have a plan?”

“Yes. Maybe we’ll figure it out as we go.” Kurt couldn’t say no to that. Mostly because he was already kissing Blaine again.

5\. Kurt. Watching Blaine in those tight pants, dancing away in his bedroom.

At first, Kurt had been dancing with Blaine. In the Anderson house. With the bedroom door closed. It was lovely. It had only taken mere moments before Kurt had spun himself over to the bed and dropped down on it. Hips facing downward. He kicked his legs up in the air and watched. If he didn’t he would have had to dance with the consequence of how he’d let his eyes rove. Blaine continued on, rather obliviously. It was for the best.

In the months since their little summer encounter Kurt had been giving the idea of sex more thought. His dad was completely right, of course. Burt usually was. It was a big deal and it had to really mean something.

But Kurt had also gotten himself a box of condoms just in case they changed their mind at any time. 

He’d felt like a child doing it too. Especially when the clerk asked him how old he even was. She didn’t believe he was a senior in high school. There was one tucked in his wallet right at that moment. He scooted himself over a bit further on Blaine’s bed, ever careful not to get his shoes on the comforter. 

His thumb found its way between his teeth as he watched. All he had to do was just sit here for a while and it would go away and the urge would pass. Blaine was little help. The buttons of his henley were undone and those pants seemed tighter than ever.

It really hurt sometimes. But they’d decided it was best to wait.

“Roxy Music makes me want to build a time machine just so I can go back to the seventies and give Bryan Ferry a high five.” No this definitely wouldn’t do. He needed to re-open the discussion.

Kurt was deeply grateful for his layers as he dove into the conversation. It meant he could sit up without being too obvious about why he’d brought it up. He wasn’t particularly ready to go all the way anyway. But he also wasn’t not-ready. It was a weird space. Which meant some sort of discussion was needed.

The room was way too hot.

As soon as they agreed that his clothes were going to be a great block on things happening Kurt hopped up and pulled Blaine by the hand downstairs to make some food. Thankfully all the talk about how they weren’t having sex had calmed him enough that he wasn’t worried about being seen.

6\. The Night they Finally Had Sex

On that stage, in that moment, with Blaine’s arms around him and his arms around Blaine and thinking about everything that had gone on over the last few days, Kurt had felt it. Deep inside he had just known. Tonight was the night. 

Then at some point between there and Blaine’s house he’d completely lost all feasible ability to do anything even remotely sexy ever. He was even tripping over his own feet. Kurt Hummel did not trip over his own feet. Unless, apparently, he was five seconds away from having sex for the very first time. Then it was time for the world to just completely implode on his male-given right to be turned on at the drop of a hat. Or swivel of the hips, as the case often was with them. Still, he tried. He tried as hard as he could. He knew he wanted this. His body would just have to start cooperating eventually.

Blaine didn’t understand it either. He was nervous, of course, but every step they’d taken up the stairs had him feeling more and more ready. This was something he’d been waiting for so long to do and wanting so very badly to do with Kurt. Especially these last few days. He hadn’t even realized how bad the ache really was until the beginning of that week. 

Up until they’d shut his bedroom door (why they shut it neither knew - no one was home, it just felt like the right thing to do) it had seemed like they were both on that page. Sure Kurt was a bit clumsy from the jitters, but so was he.

Somewhere between making out and getting a condom - a  condom \- from Kurt’s wallet it had fallen apart for him. His hands jerked away and he ran them over his face. 

Kurt fell back against the wall. He pressed his back and his palms against it and tilted his head back. His back arched and his chest thrusted out, but not in the hot ‘take me now’ sort of way. He looked deeply frustrated. Blaine squeezed his hands carefully as they both caught their breaths.

“Are you ok?” he whispered.

“Yes!” Kurt looked at him, in his eyes, then shook his head. “No.”

“Talk to me.” Blaine stepped closer. Kurt draped his arms around his waist.

“I want to do this.”

“Ok. But?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong.” Blaine pressed a very soft kiss on his lips. “I want to.” He wanted this so much and he just knew tonight was their night. It was right. This was that magical right moment.

“Maybe you’re thinking too much about it. I know I am.”

“You’re having trouble too?”

“A bit, yeah. I’m nervous. I don’t want to mess this up. You’re really important to me.”

“Me either. I love you Blaine.”

“I love you too.” They kissed a few times but Blaine still couldn’t get his body to do anything. He knew he was trying too hard. “Maybe it’s all these layers.” The two laughed a little as their noses brushed against each other’s cheeks. Blaine let his hand brush through Kurt’s hair. “I think. We should just do whatever feels right.”

“I don’t know what feels right.”

“Well, I know you skipped your moisturizing routine once this week and the last time you missed it twice you were convinced you had already started getting wrinkles.” Kurt’s head fell back to the wall as he laughed. He just couldn’t contain himself. “Maybe we just need to get comfortable. Take it slow. If nothing happens tonight then no worries. We’ll get there when we get there. And now that we’ve...decided that it’s going to happen, it’ll happen.”

“You aren’t just saying that because it’s the romantic thing to say are you?”

“Absolutely not. I’m saying it because you are the most important person in my life and I want to do this right. And right, for us, is getting comfortable and relaxing and not thinking too hard or putting too much pressure on this.”

“Ok, fine. I’ll go get myself cleaned up.” Kurt gave him one last kiss before slipping from the room. Blaine discarded his clothes easily on the floor. And the protection. As he put on his pajamas he couldn’t stop glancing at it. Just its presence here meant Kurt had been thinking about this for a while. He took a deep breath. Thinking about sex and actually having it were very different things. But thinking about having it and preparing to have it meant that this had been building up all along.

Possibly even beyond just this past week, even if it had been the topic of choice for basically everyone. Apparently Finn had asked to have the house to himself that night and Kurt and Blaine both knew Rachel was going to be spending time with him. Then there was the way Artie had been pushing them all week to actually have sex before opening night.

In a way Blaine was grateful for it all. They hadn’t openly questioned anything since they made their decision last summer to behave. A few more months really had changed them.

Blaine took a deep breath and paced the floor. If Kurt was forcing himself to do this then they wouldn’t have had that little moment, right? Actually, if Kurt were forcing himself they probably would’ve gotten it on in the back of that car.

“Hey,” Kurt said on his return. Most of his layers were gone. Blaine froze. “You look lost in thought.”

“Kurt, why did you want to? Tonight I mean.”

“Because your speeches always drive me crazy.”

“That’s it?”

“No. Because I love you, because you’re hot, because when you dance I never fail to realize how very grateful I am that I don’t often wear pants as tight as yours...Because when you look into my eyes I feel safe and wanted and important.” He stepped over the clothing pile and kissed Blaine. “I forgot to bring extra clothes. Well I didn’t forget, technically. We didn’t stop for them.”

“I didn’t stop for them.”

“I didn’t remind you.” Blaine slipped over to his bed and very carefully settled down on it. Kurt wasted no time stretching out on the other side. 

“Maybe we could just snuggle for a while?”

“I’m ok with that. That means I get to look in your eyes some more. Ugh I am  really cheesy.” His heart was still racing. He was still painfully nervous.

“You’re hot.” Blaine rolled over beside him and planted a kiss before Kurt could say anything back. Their arms tucked up and just fell right into place. Kurt could feel Blaine’s breath on his face as their noses brushed against each other. “Remember, we’re just going to-

“Do what feels right.” What felt right was being here, curled up in bed with Blaine. Staying the night with him. Kurt let his hand drift as his heart started to settle. He let his fingers brush very lightly over the fabric of Blaine’s shirt. What felt right. A smile spread across his features. He leaned over for a kiss. Then another. Then he dropped his hands down, little by little. He tugged on the fabric around Blaine’s thighs. He was still nervous but he’d remembered something very, very important.

**  
Blaine was what felt right.  **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: When Kurt was thinking about 'eight grade health class,' I was pulling from my own experiences in my required-by-Ohio-law health class where we had a little old lady in her late 70s come in once a week and talk about male and female anatomy with us. And one time she sat down at the front and looked at us and said "Girls, if you ever think you want to have sex with your boyfriends, boys if you ever think you want to have sex with your girlfriends, just grind instead. Its not sex." True story.


End file.
